Wednesday, May 24, 2006

School Spirit and Finger Puppets: Texas Style, Part II

Here is Part II - Electric Boogaloo

Above we see basketball coach Tom Penders demonstrating the official hand sign of my current school the University of Houston Cougars. I know what you’re thinking, but Jeffie that looks just like “The Shocker”. And if you weren’t thinking that then you are either old, uninformed, or simply not a fan of sophomoric smut. For those of you now thoroughly confused click here, which then explains news stories such as this. Personally, I don’t think our sign looks anything like a cougar’s claw. Therefore, I propose that we Cougars trade our sign to Wichita State (Hint: They are the Shockers) for their baseball coach Gene Stephenson, or perhaps just Gene Stephenson’s mustache.

Baylor fans proudly flash the “Sic ‘em Bears” sign. This one is probably the most realistic of all of the symbols. I mean it actually does resemble a bear claw. However, considering the student handbook explicitly prohibits homosexuality (and fun for that matter), I expected something a bit more Godly. I’m not sure what, but perhaps a burning bush, a dove, arms raised in front of oneself like a cross, or maybe even a picture of Tom DeLay. That last one’s an interesting story you can research on your own. But, anyway, if you are ever in Waco, beware, because there is nothing more intimidating than hundreds of Southern Baptists with their hands outstretched like a grizzly stalking a salmon…God is Grrrr-eat!

Ok, I’m throwing this one up for Lauren’s sake as she is a proud graduate of Stephen F. Austin. Yep, I’m dating a Lumberjack. Their hand sign is “Axe ‘em Jacks”. Apparently they honor the “Father of Texas”…by holding up an axe. But not just any axe, an axe that looks surprisingly like a gun. So, let’s see here, an axe is pretty much the same thing as a tomahawk, but I guess borrowing the tomahawk chop from FSU would have just been silly and derivative. Instead they went with a sign that would be more at home in a gangsta rap video than a stadium parking lot. That’s right I said a parking lot, because rumor has it no one actually attends the games, they just tailgate and go home. But what do you expect from the school whose initials stand for Sex, Fun and Alcohol? Yeah, Lauren informed me of that little gem last night. Can you believe I took this girl home to meet my family?

Honorable Mention


Apparently riding a resurgent football team, UTEP has brought out a thumb and pinky “Pick ‘em” gesture. Whatever, I “Pick ‘em” to continue hearing Mike Price jokes for a long, long time.


Sources show that SMU fans once used the generic index and middle finger “V” for victory sign and tried to pass it off as pony ears. Wow, that death penalty must have really stifled creativity up in Dallas. If it were up to me I would go with both hands balled up into circles and held up to the eyes…You know for Eric Dickerson’s goggles.


Not even smart kids are above an occasional trip to Gestureville. Their sign allegedly involves a middle finger poked outward for “Peck ‘em Owls.” This one is still awaiting official university sanction for good reason.


Anonymous mom said...

My students are wondering why I am chuckling aloud. I think you've found your voice. Tell Lauren we love her anyway.

5/24/2006 11:30 AM  
Anonymous Snoop DOOOOOOOG said...

UM...excuse me, but what do you think my family thought when you came walking in the door with your hair standing straight up?
Secondly, even you love the gangsta rap, so don't hate.
Lastly, now your family knows why I like my vino so much! I apparently had a lot of practice.

5/24/2006 8:27 PM  

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