Thursday, May 18, 2006

Mismanagement 101

It seems as though the Arizona Cardinals have warned Matt Leinart, their rookie quarterback to stay out of the news and attempt to keep a low profile as he canoodles with Paris Hilton. The Cardinals are apparently embarrassed by this tabloid exposure. I’ll say that again, the Cardinals are now worried about the potential for humiliation.

This is the same Cardinals franchise who in 86 seasons, has:

  • appeared in just 7 postseason games
  • registered a 2-5 postseason record (if history is any indicator, the Cardinals will win their next playoff game in 2033)
  • appeared in two NFL championships games (most recently in 1948, a 7-0 loss to Philly)
  • won two NFL championships (in 1947, a 28-21 win over Philly, and in 1925, when the title was simply handed to the team with the best regular-season record)
  • fielded 25 teams with winning records
  • fielded 55 teams with losing records
  • won 11 or more games three times – and just once in the last 57 seasons (11-2-1 in 1925; 11-1 in 1948; 11-3 in 1975)
  • posted a cumulative 453-653-39 record (.410)
  • registered just one winning season in the last 21 years
  • failed to win 10 games every year since 1976 (10-4)
  • posted one playoff victory in the last 58 seasons

*Stats courtesy of here

Oh and by the way, Paris, I saw your video and you are less lively in bed than Terri Schiavo. Wow, I’ve just been waiting for the chance to let loose that astounding double play of pop culture fodder.


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