Friday, June 09, 2006

Miscellaneous Musings

I haven't done this for a while, but here are more of my random ponderings and observations:

•Some mornings as I’m busy shaving with my five-bladed razor, I contemplate that the toilet paper industry is really falling behind the technology curve. I mean is triple-ply really the best they have?

•The “itchy spot on the roof of my mouth” and “random right eye twitch” seem to be battling it out lately to determine which is my most annoying bodily sensation.

•Have you seen the names of the players on the Polish World Cup roster? They better pray that goals are not as hard to come by as vowels seem to be.

•Whenever I hear a radio station state that they play “only the best of adult alternative” I imagine that somewhere Hootie is busy taking a dump on a gold-plated toilet.

•I do some of my best thinking in the shower. However, at the same time I often can’t remember whether I have washed my hair yet or not.

•There were 15 players in the women’s draw of the French Open whose last name ended in the suffix “ova”. At least one of those was bound to make the finals. As a result, I’ve decided that my first daughter will be named Anna Maria Adamsova…I figure I better at least give her a fighting chance.

•Whenever someone asks me where I see myself in five years, I always say “in a mirror, unless they invent something better by then.”

•The one thing I miss the most about elementary school is the computer game "Oregon Trail". In fact, right now I would rather be attempting to ford a river or dying of dysentery.

•They say that drinking a bunch of water will relieve the symptoms of a hangover. I, for one have a hard time believing that after consuming 15 beers my biggest problem is dehydration.

•Some days I wake up feeling young, fresh and vital. Then I remember that I learned how to type on an actual typewriter and that feeling quickly disappears.

•The Spanish television stations here in Houston often run half-hour long car dealership commercials featuring scantily-clad females late at night. I wonder if saying “So, does the girl come with it?” in Spanish sounds just as cheesy and trite as it does in English.


Blogger oldtennisbum said...

Have you considered giving up caffine??

6/09/2006 1:04 PM  

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